A Return to My Roots
Sometimes, it is important to return to one’s roots–return back home. For me right now, this means coming back to my original business name: Questions Authority Coaching.
For not quite a year and a half, I’ve been operating under an assumed name, LL Coaching, though my registered business name remained Questions Authority Coaching. For about 8 months prior to that, I had a separate business and partnership that was known as Harmony Wellness and Yoga Center. So, depending on how long you’ve been hanging out with me, you may not know me as Questions Authority Coaching at all. And that’s a big reason why I’m writing this post.
I started Questions Authority Coaching in March 2023 while I was still in my holistic coaching program. I had an idea and what felt like a powerful calling, so even though I had no idea what it took to run a business, I dove in. I do not regret that dive.
For several months prior to starting Questions Authority Coaching, I had a little blog website where I shared anything and everything that came up for me, mostly stories of my life and trauma. It was raw, vulnerable, and full of pain. And I called it Questions Authority.
My blog’s logo, Questions Authority.
Now, in full disclosure, I wanted to call it Question Authority. But that domain name was already taken. So the “s” was added to the end of Question.
But why Questions Authority? Why that name? It sounds so confrontational, aggressive, and perhaps a little anarchist. After all, while we all know that you shouldn’t just believe or go along with what everyone in a position of authority says blindly, we also know in our bodies that it is much safer and accepted to do that.
What do I mean by that? Well, we may be taught to think critically, question what we’re told, and not believe everything we hear, but the unspoken lessons we learn in childhood often contradict those teachings. More often than not, we were told “Because I said so,” when we asked why our parent mandated some action from us. Our parents, teachers, and other adults would get frustrated with us and shut us down when we questioned them. So we learned to keep our mouths shut and just do what they said. It was easier, safer, and we learned that we were better accepted and loved when we just followed their word.
We learned it is easier & safer to keep our mouths shut.
When I was a teenager, I was walking out of a gas station and saw a car parked at one of the pumps. Its bumper sticker boldly stated, “Question Authority.” I instantly felt a zing as the truth of that statement reverberated from my soul through my entire body. Yes! I thought. We really should question authority! They don’t always know everything or have our best interests at heart. Why don’t I question authority more?
Throughout my adulthood, I would remember that moment at times and feel this tug in my heart. Yet I was a good girl, completely programmed to seek love and acceptance through obedience and self-sacrifice. So I stayed silent and continued to compromise myself for the sake of what I was told I should want and strive towards.
Until the pandemic. Well, even then it took me almost two years from the start of the pandemic to really hear my soul. What happened? I got COVID. I was busy climbing the ladder and doing everything I thought would make me happy and my body just shut me down.
I may not have been hospitalized with the virus, but my nervous system was shot. I could barely do anything without becoming completely fatigued, shaky, and weak. I had days on end where I couldn’t handle any stimulation. I couldn’t listen to music, watch TV, look at my phone, read a book, or even look outside. I just sat in bed, not sleeping, feeling utterly trapped in and betrayed by my body.
That total shut down of my body was my soul yelling at me to listen to her. To stop blindly following what the external world told me I should do, want, strive for, and to start listening to my inner voice, to my soul, to God. COVID-19 ended my career as a nurse and set me on the path of spiritual awakening.
Right about a year after I first became ill with the virus, I was doing some inner searching to figure out my next move. I could no longer tolerate the demands of nursing in any setting so I looked deep into my soul and started to question everything I had learned and done.
I knew that the parts of all the jobs I had held that I enjoyed the most were teaching and coaching others–helping them find their “ah-ha” moments. And as I realized that, a faint memory of a holistic nursing event I went to a few years prior came to my mind. I remember one of the presenters talking about coaching and about a specific program. Somehow, I was able to find the name of that coaching program and within two weeks, I was signed up to start their next cohort. And a couple of months later, I officially started Questions Authority Coaching.
The choice of Questions Authority Coaching was not simply made because of my teenage memory or because of my blog name. I deliberated, sat with it, and meditated on it. I am not promoting anarchy or the questioning of authority through physical or verbal violence. What I am promoting is the questioning of authority as a curious observer, outside of judgment. Question the authorities in your life by noticing where you are following a program, a pattern, a habit, or an addiction even when your soul is telling you that isn’t the best thing for you.
Question the need to serve others at your own personal expense. Question the need to climb the corporate ladder when every time you get to the place that you thought would make you happy and feel fulfilled leaves you feeling like you need to get to the next rung to feel happy and fulfilled. Question why you eat the way you do–how much of it is because that is what your body actually wants versus what your inner child wants or what the $14.1 billion of food and beverage advertising spent annually tells you that you want. Question why you can never seem to fully relax and why your nervous system feels frayed and you are in burnout.
The problem with thinking the next thing will make you happy is that there will always be a next thing holding you back from being happy right now.
